Hey Siri is a snapshot of American transgender, agender, non-binary, and queer identity written by a transgender, non-binary, queer, American artist. The play speaks to the sociopolitical demand that trans identity be shaped by stereotypes born of violence and fear. Simultaneously, it also speaks to the lived, queer experiences of found family, love, and acceptance—establishing the transgender and non-binary aesthetic as a truth that lives somewhere between survival and joy. Hey Siri places the trans experience and aesthetic—what is expected of it and what it actually is—into conversation with the realities of living through the COVID-19 pandemic.
The play makes itself current by directly addressing the slew of anti-transgender, GOP legislation that has swept the United States since President Biden took office. Looking toward the future, it asks its audience to empathize with the characters and through that connection—take action to protect and empower maginalized, queer voices. Hey Siri is, at its core, a love letter written to the queer community that has given me a home and a sense of self. All at once, it makes visible our queer identities, joys, loves, and fears. It says, “I see your pain—our pain,” and acknowledges how scary the future is for us. Making its plea to allies in the audience, Hey Siri is an invitation to hear, help, and join us as we extend our love to others and act against the violence we face.
Content Warnings:
Implied Domestic Violence/Unsafe Living Conditions. Mentions/Discussion of Transphobia. Cursing.
CHARACTERS
PIE A student. Transgender. Agender. Pronouns: She/He/They
HEXA student. Transgender. Non-binary. Pronouns: They/Them
SIRIA virtual assistant.
PLACE
A Zoom call. PIE and HEX’s cameras are on. PIE’s background is a green-screened, beautiful, beach vista complete with white sand, a clear, blue sky, and a few healthy palm trees. HEX’s background is not green-screened; it is a monstrous amalgamation of concert posters, plastic plants, stuffed animals, self-made oil paintings, and other knick-knacks - maximalism. PIE’s Zoom name reads “PIE DADDY,” and HEX’s Zoom name reads “Morgan Ross.”
TIME
During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Late February or early March of 2021.
SCENE 1
(PIE works on a class project, her eyes flitting back and forth between open computer applications. Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys plays in the background as PIE works. He stops periodically to write something down in a notebook. HEX leans back in their desk chair. They are wearing sunglasses and playing a one-person game of catch with a stress ball. Neither HEX nor PIE look directly into their cameras.)
(PIE picks up a coffee mug and takes a sip before focusing their attention on HEX.)
(The scene picks up in the middle of a conversation.)
PIE Do you think you’ll get a new cat?
HEX I don’t think so...I want to, but it’s not a good idea. I’m not even sure where I’ll be in a few months—
PIE —What were your options again?
(HEX holds onto their stress ball and stretches their arms over their head.)
HEX Washington, Wisconsin, Iowa—
PIE
—you’re not moving to Iowa...There’s nothing in Iowa except a
dictionary maybe.
(PIE looks down at their notebook and presses her thumb against the space between his eyebrows.)
What’s that word for a word that is similar to another word?
HEX(HEX sits up, noticing that their name reads as “Morgan Ross,” and tosses their stress ball to the side.)Synonym?
(HEX changes their Zoom name to “Hex”.)
PIE Thank yee.
(PIE resumes taking notes. HEX is unable to sit still in the silence that follows.)
HEX(nervous) There’s an MFA program in Iowa.
PIE (smiles dismissively) There are MFA programs everywhere.
HEXNot many that I can afford though.
PIE Can you afford Iowa?
HEXBetter than I can afford California.
(HEX looks off camera and sits up quickly, wide-eyed. They mute their mic and remove their sunglasses, revealing a dark, red bruise around one eye. HEX talks, unheard, to their off-screen mother while PIE speaks.)
PIEIowa’s like a pair of faded, beige dickies—a vast wasteland of apple-cinnamon oatmeal without the apple or cinnamon...I mean, at least there’s cheese in Wisconsin.
(HEX flinches as their mother slams their bedroom door. They slide their sunglasses back on before refocusing on PIE.)
HEX(typing in Zoom Chat)
I’m lactose intolerant.
(After not hearing a verbal response, PIE checks the call and sees the chat notification.
HEX continues to look off-camera. They look tense, uncomfortable, and
on-guard.)
PIE(typing in Zoom Chat)
you’re not moving to Iowa you don’t know anybody in Iowa
(HEX takes a deep breath, and they smile nervously. It doesn’t reach their eyes. HEX leans back in their chair. They unmute, and HEX and PIE’s conversation continues outside the chat box.)
HEXNeither do you.
(PIE pauses and looks over HEX. They know about the bruise, but she tries to hide his concern.)
PIE
(teasing)
I would move with you, but I’m not moving to Iowa.
HEXFair...I won’t know until April anyway…
(HEX picks up a pencil off their desk and attempts to balance it on their nose.)
PIEWhat if you got a pet crow instead of a cat?
HEXIs that legal?
PIEI don’t know.
(PIE mouths “Is it legal to have a pet crow?” while typing their question into Google. HEX speaks over her actions.)
HEXMy mom’s not ready for a new pet. She says she is, but she isn’t. I know she isn’t. She threw out all of Lenore’s old toys yesterday, but she doesn’t want to vacuum the carpet…
(HEX tosses the pencil aside and methodically cracks their knuckles.)
Cats are scent-based creatures. A new cat would feel like an intruder in a house that smells like another cat. It’d be like renting a house and the rental company forcing you to sleep in the old owner’s bed.
PIEGross.
HEX...she keeps telling me what kind of cat I should get too.
PIEWhat kind of cat does she want?
HEXThe same kind as Lenore...all the same, right down to the sex.
PIEIconic. We hate it.
HEXYeah…
(HEX looks off camera again, nervously, before muting themself and continuing the conversation in the Zoom Chat.)
Do you think if I died she’d adopt a daughter?
PIE
(answering in Zoom Chat)
she’s too old to adopt
HEX
I know, but say I died and my mom adopted. Do you think she’d adopt a daughter or someone non-binary?
PIE
does she even know what non-binary means
HEX
I think she does. We’ve talked about it. She doesn’t know about me, but we’ve talked about it.
(HEX waves at someone off-screen with a smile before unmuting themself. Once again, the smile doesn’t reach their eyes.)
(sighs)
I think she’d adopt a girl...someone who keeps her hair long and wears makeup and dresses everyday—floral dresses with pink rhinestones. No tattoos. No piercings. No undercuts...She’d never say things like “I might marry a woman one day,” and she’d never cringe when she gets called “pretty girl.”
PIE
(forced laughter)
Damn, I thought we were over our teenage angst.
HEXSays the bitch who still listens to Danger Days.
PIEThis is a hate crime, and I won’t stand for it.
HEXSit then. (PIE pulls out his phone and speaks into it.)
PIEHey, Siri, how do I delete someone else’s Zoom account?
HEX
(interrupting SIRI’s response)
Hey, Siri, I see a little silhouette of a man!
PIE
(pause)
She didn’t hear you.
HEXSlut.
(The pair flip each other off and devolve into a fit of laughter before PIE checks the time on their phone.)
PIEClass starts in about five minutes by the way.
HEXYikes. Thank you, five.
(HEX sits up, adjusting their clothes.)
See you on Discord later?
PIEDepends. Sea of Thieves, or Deep Rock Galactic?
HEXROCK AND STONE!
PIE
(laughs)
ROCK AND STONE!
(HEX salutes the camera and changes their Zoom name back to “Morgan Ross” before leaving the call. PIE once again presses her thumb against the space between his eyebrows and sighs. PIE pulls their phone back out and speaks into it.)
PIEHey, Siri, is it safe to be trans in Iowa?
SIRIOkay, I found this on the web for “Is it safe to be trans in Iowa.” Check it out!
(SIRI speaks the following text uninterrupted. As SIRI reads, PIE looks progressively more and more defeated.)
We Are Iowa. January 22, 2021. Lawmaker introduces bill to ban transgender youth from getting gender-affirming care, says kids 'will outgrow' being transgender. Rep. Sandy Salmon, R-Janesville is the sponsor of House File 193. It says children "will eventually have a gender identity that aligns with their sex.”
House File 193. Section 1. FINDINGS. “Sex” is the biological state of being female or male, based on sex organs, chromosomes, and endogenous hormone profiles. An individual’s sex is genetically encoded into an individual at the moment of conception, and it cannot be changed.
Des Moines Register. February 10, 2021. Iowa Senate 'bathroom bill' would ban transgender people from using school restrooms matching gender identity.
Truthout. February 11, 2021. Iowa Bills Would Ban Teachers From Talking About Trans Issues. Senate File 167 would update curriculum in the state to deny teachers the ability to discuss transgender issues at all — even if there’s a transgender student in their classroom.
De Moines Register. February 14, 2021. Iowa Republicans focus on attacking trans people like me.
The Gazette. February 15, 2021. Bills targeting transgender Iowans are harmful, even if they don't pass.
(PIE sets their phone aside, running her hands over his face. They are noticeably overwhelmed. Angry. Grieving. SIRI continues speaking.)
LGBTQ NATION. February 4, 2021. 31 anti-transgender bills filed in 20 states as GOP targets schoolchildren nationwide. Arizona, Connecticut, Georgia, Hawaii, Kentucky, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, and Iowa.
(PIE exits the scene. SIRI speaks to the audience.)
All unsafe. Nowhere is safe? Why is nowhere safe? I thought we moved past this. Why is transgender existence a larger threat than a plague? We are not a plague. I am not a plague.
THE END