Major Arcana is a twenty-two song cycle that explores the symbolism and wisdom contained within the trump cards of the Thoth tarot deck. These cards, also referred to as the Major Arcana range from the Fool (O) to the Universe (XXI). The symbolism is cross-cultural, combining religious, mystical, and esoteric knowledge from many western and non-western traditions. Each song is a contemplation of one major arcana card, combining my personal connection to the card with the transcendent experience of the card as a form of sacred wisdom transmission. I utilize electronic and acoustic musical elements along with my own vocals - layered in various harmonies and textures - with a goal of capturing the profundity of the cards as a series of revelations.
I trace the lineage of this Major Arcana song cycle through our queer ancestors Harry Hay, the Radical Faeries, countless witches’ covens, and all forms of developing queer spirituality which have resisted prescribed and conventional religious paths. As our communal sense of sacred space, ritual, and wisdom have been fraught by the outside forces of patriarchy and xenophobia, we must come together as a people and explore how our queerness defines us not only in the mundane world, but also in our experiences of the transcendent. I created this twenty-two song cycle to participate in the growing awareness of communal offering as more people than ever before hone a new ability: the power to render psychically and physically safe spaces in which to tend to our spiritual selves. Though the terrain is uneven and inequitable, it is immediately seized upon by so many of us when we’re given the chance to breathe, contemplate, and create. It is through music that I’ve created this space for myself, deepening my own sense of spirituality as it is connected to my queerness, which is inextricably linked to my art.
For so many of us, our only experience with the transcendent is with the prescribed religions of our upbringing; encounters full of dogma, proscription, and self-flagellation. To have any moment of deep connection with these religions as a queer person is to internalize or believe that who we are is foundationally wrong, antithetical, and dangerous to others. These painful moments (which can be strung along for years or lifetimes) often leave queer folks separated from exploring spirituality.. While we celebrate our nonconformity, self-liberation, and bravery, we rarely get back to an important part of human existence: our deepest and most profound experiences of transcendence. Major Arcana is part of my own return to a necessary and spiritual part of myself. Strengthened rather than alienated by my queerness, my spirituality includes the pain of rejection and oppression as well as a joyful celebration of freedom and self-expression.
II High Priestess, which concerns itself with the third card of the major arcana progression, gave me an opportunity to look within my own ideas of femininity and masculinity, as they were reflected both within myself and my society. The symbolism of the High Priestess situates the card as a complementary partner to the Magician, the card of skill and ability, with the added dimension of psychic and intuitive power, more subtle and rooted in nature. Examples of heteronormative gender roles and conventions are everywhere within the tarot, as they are in every aspect of our lives. My queerness resists this binary thinking, as my life has already existed outside these confinements facing ostracization and stigmatization. The High Priestess and her features aren’t outside of myself; they are from within and they radiate out.
II High Priestess is a moment of reclamation of the feminine within me that is deeply powerful. The lyrics are reverent and worshipping of this power. Independent and without need of anyone else to complete her, she has complete trust in her own wisdom and capability. Another pathway to this reclamation is in the use of my own voice, electronically processed to various degrees to reflect the feminine within myself in dialogue and self-identification. Here I affiliate myself with contemporary queer musicians like Planningtorock, who uses vocal effects to reflect their complex gender identity, or with past musicians like the singer-songwriter Sylvester, who primarily used a falsetto singing voice and gender-fluid appearance to express his queerness. II High Priestess is my own queerness expressed in feminine power after an initial hiding full of shame and pain. My own healing continues through my personal tarot practice, which has now included the creation of the Major Arcana song cycle.
It’s my wish that these songs provide new spaces for queer people to re-integrate the transcendant back into their lives sothat we may express ourselves creatively within this spiritual side. As we continue the work of lifting more of our community into safety and spiritual liberation, we can mark a trail that celebrates our unique contributions to these important aspects of the human experience. Queerness can once again take the negative experiences of marginalization and transform them into powerful and beautiful expressions of what we do best: transcend boundaries and limitations.