(Manic) Depressive
(When the Party's Over)

A.M. Disher

The wood becomes viscera and flesh, a self-portrait. Wood has no gender and is a material metaphor for queer identity. Much of the wood A.M. uses are sections that have been damaged when the tree was alive and then began to heal. Others are the roots of the tree- the base support, and the main mode of transporting sustenance. A.M. paints the wood to resemble flesh and viscera. The work exists in a liminal space between healing and freshly wounded. Neurodivergent, Mentally ill, and gender non-conforming people are pressured to function in a social system that causes them harm by pressuring them to conform to a societal expectation of normalcy. A.M.’s works are in a perpetual state of tending to psychic wounds that remain in flux and are never allowed to heal or exist as they are.

A.M. uses domestic objects in addition to wood to create a narrative that responds to various facets of these oppressed identities. Color acts as the initial draw and separates it from gore. A.M.'s color palette is bubblegum grotesque, they are seeking a place between cartoonish, exaggerated color, and realism. The objects paired with the wood require elements of complementary or vibrant color, aesthetic beauty, or absurdity. This is vital in order to break down the weight of the concept at hand and allow for approach. There are elements of absurdity, beauty, and vibrance to the experience of queerness, mental Illness, and neurodivergence.

The vulnerability of the subject matter, paired with the bold color and playfulness of the work, exude power and defiance over oppressive social environments and mental health challenges as the objects are formed. A.M. is exploring places where beauty and the grotesque intersect, this exploration has become the documentation of A.M’s own struggles and successes with mental health and queerness; the anatomy of their melancholy.